Hanging out with Dave Rolph
Yesterday was frankly a tough message for me to deliver. Whenever we talk about what the church should be and could be, and we see how it has so often failed to meet that standard, it hurts. We all have memories of times when we desperately needed the body of Christ and her imperfections were glaring. Sometimes the problems were with us, other times with others. And realizing scripturally the potential of the church causes us to feel worse about those times when we didn’t live up to that potential, individually or collectively. And yet, God continues to work among us, despite our many shortcomings, and the light of grace keeps on shining.
Sally McRae wrote some things to me in an email last night that I thought captured the reality of painful life in the church. (Besides being one of the most amazing people I know, Sally also writes articles for our women’s blog and you should definitely read everything she shares there.) Sally said this: “Earlier this evening, I was thinking about church and ministry. I asked God, ‘Why does it have to be so painful?’ I thought about Jesus’ life and what’s recorded in the gospels about His ministry on earth- it too was painful. I wondered, ‘If it doesn’t hurt, are we not doing it right?’ If we are not suffering, are we missing out on the heart of Jesus?”
Sally goes on to talk about how in our society we are focused on comfort, and how to relieve the pain at all costs. Then she observes, “Looking back over the course of my life, the more I hurt, the tighter I clung to Jesus, the quicker I ran to His feet, and the closer I felt to Him, hence the more joy and peace I discovered, safe in His arms. I want that feeling every day.”
I have discovered that what Sally has shared is also my personal experience. In retrospect (and it is almost always only in retrospect) the pain is soooo worth it.
The other thing I’ve been reflecting on, since the message yesterday, is the nature of submission. Yesterday I shared that true submission is really only revealed when the person we are in relationship with does things we don’t agree with. We think we are in submission, but the test of disagreement will always unveil the truth, and the truth can hurt. It is then that we connect with Jesus, as He was deserted by those who professed loyalty to Him. I have heard it said that you never lose friends. You only go through adversity which will show you who your friends really are.
The essence of submission is acceptance. To accept a person the way they are, warts and all, whether a spouse, a friend, or a pastor, and to encourage them to be true to what they feel the Lord is speaking to them, and to choose to adjust one’s self to accommodate who they are, is the essence of all true relationship. There is nothing more empowering than to feel acceptance and support, and nothing more devastating than to feel rejection and discord. Nowhere is that more true than in the roles God has established within the body of Christ. But we cannot afford to retreat from submission and acceptance, or from leading and teaching the truth, because of the pain. It comes with the territory.
Dave Rolph is the Senior Pastor of Calvary Chapel Pacific Hills in Aliso Viejo, California, and is the Bible teacher for the radio program The Balanced Word. He has been at CC Pacific Hills for seven years, and prior to that he was an assistant pastor at Calvary Chapel of Costa Mesa for 25 years.
Great Post! What Sally says holds true for me too. When I am hurting the faster I take it to Jesus the faster I discover His peace and grow closer to Him through it. I will admit sometimes I stubbornly hang on to the hurt, only to delay healing and what God has planned for me.
The submission part reminded me of my mom, who for 32 years has gone to the same church. The church has split more than once, had several pastor changes and great upheavals. Friends of hers have left the church for one reason or another and yet she stays and faithfully serves. If you ask her she will say she is committed to the church and the family of God especially at that church, not the pastor or elder board. I thought yesterday was a great lesson.
And Dave I don’t think you need Facebook (can’t quite see you on there), and Sally posts on it every time you blog… just tell them to go be friends with her.
Or they can hit the share button and share with all their friends too.
Be Blessed
Thanks Tara. I love to hear about people like your mom. They are inspirations to me. There is certainly a time and a way to leave a church, but people like your mom are what makes the church look like Jesus. Thanks for sharing.
I just discovered your blog since you mentioned it last night. Thank you for yet another way you stay in touch with your congregation! I really enjoyed Sunday’s sermon and the message you posted with Sallie’s comments and yours.
Remember how I shared with you how when I was feeling “cut off,” that feeling of disconnection from others, those very words, “cut off” stood out to me in Isaiah 53:8 which prompted me to read the whole chapter and realize how much Jesus really did understand my pain? It is amazing to consider that whatever pain we feel, He felt more deeply and is therefore so able to shoulder our burden. I am so glad we can say, “What a friend we have in Jesus.” And as you and Sally shared, we grow in intimacy with Him through the painful seasons.
I was thinking that yet another benefit may be that we know how valuable a gift faithfulness is to give to others when we experience it’s contrary, unfaithfulness. So, maybe we know better how to be a friend when “sorrow” has walked with us and stirred our sympathies.
Thanks, again, for teaching us God’s Word!
Thank you for your candor, its appreciated and I share your sentiments and pain. Do you think the apostles felt something similar when they wrote the letters to the Churches? As an example, think about the stuff Paul had to address with the Galatians and Corinthians, it’s difficult to believe he did not find it a little tough addressing their short comings. Additionally, I’m pretty sure it also pained his heart. Hang in there, my dear brother. Your in good company.
The above being said, please be assured there is nothing quite like hearing a message from a man of God who seeks the favor of God over men and strives not succumb to becoming a pleaser of men but stays the course and accurately handles the word of truth. Thank you for making relevant application of some of the tough principles in I Peter.
On another note, I can’t tell you how much the message moved me. It was like the Spirit attached a defibrillator to my heart. I have thought about it every day since and God has used it as a launching pad which the Spirit is using to speak firmly to my heart.
Again, thank you. God bless and comfort us all, J
Thanks, Carol and Javier.
Carol, no one understands rejection quite like Jesus, but we connect with Him in a special way when we are cut off.
Javier, you are correct about the difficult messages that had to be delivered and became the Bible. An easy message is an unnecessary one. Thanks for your kind words. I’m glad God is blessing you.