Hanging out with Dave Rolph
As we discussed Sunday, taking the initiative in love, despite the potential of rejection, is central to the definition of love, and the definition of being like God. This week I am trying to go out of my way a bit more, in surprising people with love. Sometimes my time is so occupied with people who are asking for attention and love, that my love becomes more of a response, and thus an obligation, rather than the initiating, audacious love of God that John talks about in 1 John 4. I’m wondering if we sometimes need to learn to turn away from those demanding love and attention, so we can be free to initiate love with those who don’t expect it?
1 John 4:4 is such a powerful verse, and such a precious truth. The One who is in us is greater than the one who is in the world. God will always be in me because He is greater than any other force. And because that Greater One is in me, I don’t have to fear the evil one. He is limited to the world, and can’t be in me. Therefore I can relax. I can trust God. I don’t have to observe my life like I would watch a scary movie, wondering how it will work out. I can see my life like a football game that I recorded, then learned that my team won before I had the chance to watch it. I don’t know every play, or every point scored. But I know who wins so the pressure is off. I can watch with interest to see exactly how He wins, but the final score has been determined. And the One who died for me has everything under His control. He is greater!
In 1 John 3, the apostle links righteousness and love. I think we could think about this more often. If something is truly right, it will also be truly loving. But John talks about love much more than righteousness, because of the two, love is much easier to identify. Trying to figure out what is right can be a daunting task. This is the problem with legalism. Everything is so complicated when you are trying to determine right from wrong. There are so many factors, and so many opinions. But if we instead just ask ourselves, “What would be the most loving thing to do?” we sometimes find instant clarity. Commandments provide a good check and balance on our attempts at love, but the great commandment is great because it cuts to the chase, and ultimately fulfills righteousness.
In our passage this week, in 1 John 3, we saw John exhorting us to look with amazement at the kind of love God has for us. Realizing how God loves us is the way we change, according to John.
The real issue comes down to the question, “From whom do I derive my value?” In other words, “Who tells me what I am worth?” If I allow others’ assessment of me to be significant, then I’ll live my life frantically trying to please others, and I’m doomed to failure. But if I focus on the love that God has for me, and the pleasure He derives from me, I become secure in that assessment.
Most of us think we self-evaluate. But in reality, our criteria don’t come from within, they are communicated to us from others. And we thus have a mixed bag of input: some from those who have tried to encourage us, and other from those who have discouraged us. Unfortunately the discouraging voices are the loudest most of the time. But there is one voice that is consistently and unconditionally encouraging. If we listen to Him, everything changes. And He is actually the only one qualified to assess people anyway, because He made them.
Just look at the kind of love our Father has for us!
You don’t have to be a Christian very long, especially if you are serving God, before you discover that it hurts. We are most like Jesus when we enter into the pain of others, making ourselves vulnerable, and sharing in the suffering of Christ.
This last Sunday we talked about what we need to remember in times of pain and abandonment. 1 John 2:18-29 reminds us to remember who the Almighty Trinitarian God is, to remember our salvation, to remember the Holy Spirit is inside us and speaking, and to remember that Jesus will return. Those things are the base we need to return to when our cage has been rattled.
Yesterday I was asking myself the question, “I know what we should remember, but what should we do?” That led me to consider what Jesus did, to deal with the pain and rejection. I came up with this list, which is certainly not exhaustive.
1. He paced Himself. Jesus never seemed to be in a hurry.
2. He prayed a lot.
3. He spent a lot of alone time with the Father.
4. He didn’t expect much from others.
5. He forgave constantly.
6. His nutrition was serving the Father.
7. He kept finding new people to minister to. No rut relationships.
8. He discipled a select few, with long term results in view.
9. Ultimately, He died. (Of course, His death saved, whereas our lives are more likely to save than our deaths.)
We must do more of 1-8. 9 will come soon enough.
This week as we looked at John’s statement in 1 John 2, that you can’t love the Father and the world, I thought a lot about how much competition God has in our lives. All the “things” in our lives push us and make demands on us. Our flesh, our eyes and our pride never get enough. They always want more, and they find newer, more creative ways to demand more from us. The car dealers come out with more incentives and creative ways for us to buy new cars. Banks come up with new ways to loan money to people who can’t afford conventional financing. Smut merchants find new ways to deliver their garbage. Television is all about creating the kind of discontent that drives the economy. And God just sits by and watches it happen. He silently waits for us to get around to Him. He won’t compete for our affection. He can’t sink to that level. He will not just be another vulture picking away at our carcass. He waits. He waits for the competition to come up short. He waits for the trinkets to rust. Then He accepts us when no one else even wants us. And when we finally open our lives to the love of the Father, all other loves look cheesy and worthless by comparison. Let Him love you.
I love the chapter we studied this week, 1 John 1. I have always loved it, and it was the first chapter I memorized after I accepted Jesus. But every time I read it I see a bit more, how important its truths are to my life.
When your eyes become accustomed to the dark, you can start to think darkness is light. We are so prone to redefine reality based on our present understanding. But God wants to shine His light in our hearts, so that we are able to see our own sins clearly, so that He can remove them and heal us. I can never grow unless I see the darkness for what it is, and admit that the biggest thing wrong with my life is me. But the greatest thing about identifying the darkness in our lives, and calling it what it is, sin, is that now I have taken the step that brings in light. Let’s walk in the light this week. We have a gracious Savior who makes it easy.
Dave Rolph is the Senior Pastor of Calvary Chapel Pacific Hills in Aliso Viejo, California, and is the Bible teacher for the radio program The Balanced Word. He has been at CC Pacific Hills for seven years, and prior to that he was an assistant pastor at Calvary Chapel of Costa Mesa for 25 years.
